Gratitude

Conversation with Jude:

J: “Mum, I really like the cactus you got me”

A: “Glad you like it love”

J:”I really do. Thank you for thinking of me”

A: (listening and present)

J:”I really appreciate it”. 

A: “Thank you for those words Jude”

“I’m Scissoring…

“I’m Scissoring”

Reid’s choice activity right now is to do some “scissoring” which is to cut coloured paper into pieces while walking around the house. 

Top 10 Things to Do in Victoria

OK folks…

It’s that time of year again when my friends from near and far start asking me about what to do on Vancouver Island. Here’s a list of what I recommend doing in Victoria and surrounding areas. I know that by making this into a top ten list that things might get controversial so go ahead and disagree with me and add your own favourites in the comments.

Gypsy Hippie on Salt Spring Island

Top 10 Things to do in and around Victoria:

1. Hike a Local

Drive to the top of Mt. Tolmie. This local mountain is centrally located within Victoria and provides great views of the city and surrounding neighbourhoods. Road and walking path can be accessed from Cedar Hill X Road. If you are looking for a more rigorous hike try Mt. Douglas in Mt. Douglas Park. Follow this link for a good description on parking and accessing the park. The views are spectacular from the top!

2. Beacon Out

Ever Noticed the Beacon Drawing?

Take a long walk along Dallas road and enter Beacon Hill Park, if you have kids with you go to the Beacon Hill Petting Zoo (or even if they don’t have kids it’s a hoot seeing baby goats and unusually tame peacocks) After the zoo, stop at the Beacon Drive-In for delicious ice-cream (ok, it’s not really ice cream but the soft-serve is very good with hot fudge, caramel, or strawberry topping). Beacon Hill is close to downtown Victoria so go from there into downtown for some shopping/eating.

3. Eat Fish and Chips

Now this is a hot-topic among locals as to where to find the best fish and chips in Victoria. I’m going to remain fairly impartial here and just list these highly recommended establishments.

Eat fish and chips right down on the docks at Barb’s Place, or buy your f & c at The Willow’s Galley and walk down to the beach. If eating with a view isn’t a must, go to Haultain Fish and Chips, repeatedly a local favourite or try The Old Vic Fish and Chips a relic in the biz (but shows its age by not having a search-able website) and lastly, if you’re keen to explore the town of Sidney, you should make a point of stopping in at Fish on Fifth.

4. Dinner in Fernwood

The locals are raving about  Stage Small Plates Wine Bar . Pair this culinary experience with drinks at the Fernwood Inn. Many patrons walk from one local to the other.

5. Binge on Brunch

Brunch for All!

Try brunch on Sunday morning at the Marina. You must make a reservation early for this one. The brunch buffet is excellent. Last time I was there I truly gorged myself on many yummy yummy bites. Note: It’s on the pricey side but offers a great seaside view. Tip: After you eat, go down to the marina below and watch as people feed the greedy (but oh so adorable) seals.

6. Island Cottage Country

Drive to Shawnigan Lake, a mere 45 minutes north of Victoria.  Shawnigan is cottage country “island style”. While you’re there, why not access the Trans-Canada Trail along the west side of Shawnigan Lake Road and hike north to the Kinsol Trestle (the largest in the world). Visit the website to read directions on how to access the Trestle by car. Once you’ve explored the Trestle drive over to the Merridale Estate Cidery. An amazing and very filling dinning experience set on an apple orchard with huge veranda and laid back (see picture below).

7. Run with the Salmon

The salmon run is part of Vancouver Island’s natural and seasonal rhythm. Every school on the island takes their classes to see the Salmon run. Visit Goldstream National Park, only 17 km outside of Victoria (The salmon run does not take place in the summer but the park has many paths and an excellent visitors center).

8. Do Some Pot.

Ha, ha, hardy har….Go to the Sooke Potholes. Ok, I’m not going to lie, the potholes are very cold but amazingly refreshing on a hot day. To work up a sweat before your swim, walk to the potholes by traveling along the Galloping Goose Trail (a 40 minutes walk from the trail to the potholes). This walk is stunning and will take you over two trestles. In fact, plan a bike trip, rollerblade, or walk along the Galloping Goose trail at any time during your stay in Victoria. The trail is 55 km long and provides ample opportunity for people to visit the sites and get in some exercise.

9. Hug a Tree

A 2.5 hour drive up island will take you to Cathedral Grove in MacMillan Provincial Park. This will give you a chance to see an old growth forest that will have you speechless. Some of the trees at Cathedral Grove are 800 years old and measure 9 meters in circumference. Yes, that is 9 meters! On your way to Cathedral Grove you may wish to stop in Parksville. It’s long stretches of beaches especially at low tide are wonderful to walk barefoot along. Play a round of mini-golf there while you are there because this is what you do in Parksville. Go Paradise Fun Park, you won’t miss it from the road – it’s the one with a huge boot and castle.

10. Hippie-Out

Last but not least, I always tell people to do a little bit of island hoping (even if it’s one hop). Go to Salt Spring Island for the day and hippie-out. Take a 30 minute ferry from Swartz Bay to Salt Spring. Go to Ruckle Park and sit on the rocks, go into Ganges (downtown) and go to the visitors center, ask for a map of the artist tour guide. This map will show you all of the local artists who open up there homes and studios for the public to come and see their creations for sale. My favourites on the map are the Salt Spring Island Cheese (a great place for having lunch as well) and the Flat bread stop as well (sorry, I don’t remember their name). Bring your bathing suit to Salt Spring and swim at any one of there many lakes or try swimming in the ocean. The warmest dip in the ocean is at Vesuvius Bay, near the Crofton ferry.

Momma Vanity

This is an excerpt from a piece I’ve been working on called “Momma Vanity.” A poem based on this piece will be published in the May issue of The View From Here, a UK based print and online literary magazine with author interviews, book reviews, original fiction & poetry and articles. Follow the link provided to check them out.

xxx

I’ve come to grips with my vanity – motherhood has forced me to. I’m attractive in a girl-next-door kind of way. My sister was an international model so I guess the world affirms that the women in my family are not too shabby. Yet I never put much thought towards my looks until I became a mother one year ago.

The trauma of seeing my body change with the final culmination being the “ring of fire” – spoken of only in hushed voices – was just the beginning. The sleepless nights were the real doozy; a continual mind fog requiring a return to the basics – sleep, eat, nurse baby – which admittedly holds a sacredness to it, a freeing simplicity.

A source of private shame

Yet, if ever I encountered a night of uninterrupted sleep, my head would clear and my thoughts would drift over to my appearance. Deep dark bags under puffy excuses for eyes, greasy hair pulled back, a sour milk smell that wafted above my head like lazy flies about to die. My wardrobe consisted of cotton t-shirts paired with baggy jeans – I enjoy fashion so owning a large supply of Old Navy t-shirts is a recipe for disaster in my books. Needless to say, I felt weak and very sensitive (ask my husband).

My sister finally intervened. She said that she had heard me repeat “I’m just so tired” one too many times and she wanted to know what I was really getting at. At first, I was annoyed at having to explain myself – wasn’t it clear that I was simply worn out? Besides, asking tired people to explain themselves is cruel. Yet in sisterly fashion, she pressed onward and told me that I needed to “interview my tiredness”. I let out a flat laugh. I was not amused. But later, I obliged.

“Be specific. Describe your fatigue, where is it located, name the emotions?” she began.

I gave this some thought and replied, “Tiredness means my arms feel limp and I fear my legs will give out while holding the baby”

“Good” she replied, “Continue”

“It’s when I feel discouraged and mad,” I said, feeling slight relief.

“What else?” she probed.

“Tiredness is in my face, no, rather it’s in my eyes,” I said tapping my fingers along the tops of my cheekbones.

“Yes, it’s in my eyes!” I repeated.

Something clicked. It was as if my eyes were the epicenter of my fatigue. I was humbled. How could my eyes hold such power over me? I felt betrayed. My eyes shouted to the world, “She’s still not sleeping! She’s having a hard time! Look, she’s a mom now!”

I shared this epiphany with my girlfriend who had also become a mom. When she heard about my “interview with tiredness” she blurted out, “That’s me too!”

She confessed her embarrassment by the change in her eyes (even though I couldn’t see any change at all). She even told me that she didn’t want to be in pictures and have her fatigue caught on camera.

I was struck with the thought of how many other mothers out there might be wearing their eyes in private shame. I waved the white flag in admission of my own judgments against mothers I once thought should try and look a little less “momish”.

Memories of my youth came to mind. My heels, dress, body with up stretched neck all a pedestal for my eyes, elevating them to their rightful place. Crowded rooms with eyes meeting eyes in milliseconds that are something like a nod of approval. Nod: You are beautiful.

A world still stuck on beauty. A virtue yes, but indeed a dangerous trap. A life bound with huge sunglasses, buckets of make-up, and thousands spent on cream. Is this all to keep us from spiraling downward, descending from our eyes into our souls? For if striking looks are lead by eyes that seek to strike then wound a woman’s gaze and bring her to her knees. Oh this Momma Vanity must find another way!

Calling All Romanticists

J.M.W.Turner

I was delighted to find this wonderful article by Vinod which discusses the differences between Post-Modernists and Romanticists. Up until now, I have considered myself a purely post-modern thinker, however I believe I might relate more with the thoughts generated within the Romantic era – an intellectual movement beginning in the mid-18th century and which grew ever stronger during the Industrial Revolution.

My strong romantic values such as love, honour, courage, purity are at times deconstructed into obscurity (as my post-modern tendencies tend to do). Yet when push comes to shove, I do find myself operating daily on a set of absolutes (whether I like to admit this or not). Of course my set of absolutes may change in terms of my perspective and depth of experience but this is not at the expense of me throwing them all out. For example, my belief in love as an absolute truth is like believing in the existence of a rare and beautiful diamond and more importantly that I am able to come across it. When I do come across it however, I may not be able to take in all sides of the diamond itself, for it is very large and brilliant, but I can be assured I have experienced at least one side of it. Therefore, like a romantic thinker I attempt to live according to certain virtues and keep an openness as how these virtues actually show up in my daily life; a romantic thinker must be looking for virtue in order to see it in the mess of life. A post-modern thinker may not wish to even look for things they may believe to be so dynamic that exerting energy to see them would be a waste of precious time and energy.

In addition, as mentioned in Vinod’s Blog I do cling to virtues which best help me to self-actualize. In short, I believe that the existence of absolute truth does help me to be in a position of optimal performance and therefore serves to be the most pragmatic way of life (for me at least ;).

I wonder if I am alone in my romantic tendencies in this post-modern world? I wonder whether there are other closet Romanticists out there lurking, seeking, and hopefully finding.

Please follow this link to the wonderful article I found very useful:

http://www.vinod.com/blog/News/Romanticismvs.PostModerni.html

The picture above is of one of my all time favourite paintings by J.M.W. Turner, Rain, Steam and Speed – The Great Western Railway, 1844. Turner was considered to be a Romanticist and helped to usher in the Impressionist Movement.

The Writing Tunnel

I’m in “the tunnel” as many writers call it. It’s when you have been working on a project and don’t know whether you are wandering into the realm of delusion. Thoughts such as, “Am I the only one who will ever understand this?” or “I don’t know if this is all for nothing but I can’t turn back now!” cloud my mind and cause me to lose hope.

I must keep the faith!

Other known pass times, when a not wishing to be in “the tunnel” are to envision the perfect work space. Yes, if all else fails blame your writing woes on your need for the perfect office space. Check out this one by Jonathan Adler one of my favourite designers.

Making a Scene Checklist

My UCLA course was fantastic and here are a few notes for others to make use of (no need to spend money flying down south). See below for a list tips for diagnosing possible pit-falls within some of the scenes you’ve created in your stories. Take it or leave it….(sorry for the repetition…these notes come straight from class).

  • I have created a scene (a definitive mark in time and space), not just continual summary.
  • I’ve written about the given situation and resulting action not what something is “supposed to be or feel like”.
  • I’m I trusting the reader to derive meaning from the action and description.
  • I have made use of all five senses when appropriate.
  • I have made use of appropriate emblems for describing a character’s environment.
  • The emblems I have chosen relate to my hope to create a foreshadowing affect.
  • I have made use of props when characters are in dialogue.
  • I have gone over the concrete details, of who, what, when where, how in order for a scene to make logical sense.
  • I have made use of precise diction (if the character is supposed to know these facts then I’ve increased believability)
  • I have found where I’ve used the word “would”; using it selectively.
  • I have checked to see if I’m watching the watcher watch”.
  • I have followed a descriptive order of describing a character through what they do, see, feel, and then think – in this order (not the other way around).

  • I have avoided showing (vs. telling) by putting my character into action.
  • I’m allowing the reader to interpret a character’s behavior, giving the reader the right to misread what I’m trying to say.

  • When describing appearance, I’ve gone beyond literal attributes of height, hair color, etc. and have found attribute that connect more to their soul.
  • I am aware of the “status-life” principal, we are what we possess and possessed by.
  • My character’s are dialoguing “off the sofa”.

  • My dialogue is not feeding the reader.

  • I’ve made good use of omission and “jump cuts” – use a line and white space, new chapter, new scene, don’t have to have a transitional summary. “Don’t build the bridge just jump over it”.
  • My scene has tension (not always negative tension, just two existing charges)
  • Is it clear as to what a character wants or fears?
  • My scene is an inter-play between cause and effect, every action is followed my a re-action and so on.
  • I’m following rules of inevitability but not predictability.
  • Our the emotions I’ve described in a vacuum, they must occur from a stimulus. Stimuli à then emotion
  • I’m aware of Hemingway’s Theory of Omission: showing without naming, e.g. iceberg, stunning mass of what we do not see.
  • My dialogue is chosen by my character’s action not driven by the writer. The language driven by situation.
  • My diction and syntax is authentic.
  • I have avoided embellishing subtle actions, doing this only when appropriate.
  • The dialogue is EMBEDDED IN ACTION.
  • My characters are working to get what they WANT.
  • The presented epiphanies are not overly simple, formulaic or too easy.
  • I’m not scared of ambiguity only ambiguity that is unclear.
  • I’ve looked for POV errors – ask, does my POV have access to being able to know this information?

  • My dialogue is not a transcription of speech but a representation of speech.

  • The emotional responses I’ve described relate to the stimuli not to what is “supposed” to be felt.
  • If I’m writing in 3rd person, I’ve been careful to make a seamless transition from action to thought by continual use of pronouns.
  • I’ve started building my story with small scenes, trusting my reader’s ability to make extractions and larger jumps than I might think.
  • I’ve been careful not to over-populate a scene, Be careful with over-populating the piece unless you are using the list of names to populate a space, make it feel full.
  • I’ve considered adding meaning to the scene through use of a secondary character, a way of subtly communicating meaning.
  • I’ve ended the story with an open ending, meaning the reader can still imagine the characters living after the story is done.
  • I’ve added complication to my scenes; a give and take occurs between characters, nudging and taking away.

Anger as I know it…

A short excerpt from a larger piece I’m writing about anger…

Her anger surged through her, as she lay awake observing how it jogged up and down her body. Secretly, she enjoyed the prospect of release – a tittering tingle between pleasure and restraint. It was something like when, at the age of nine, she would relentlessly twirl her hair, smoothly snaking it between knuckles, pleasure at the slight tug of her scalp. She continued, spinning and spinning, thinking and thinking, looking out the car window until a rope of brown spun right off. She remembers the tail in sweaty fingers, her shock, and resolve never to let her twirling go this far.

Similarly, her rage was shocking in its power to demand an affectionate stroking, peaking her senses and causing her to wish it could be torn away from her.

xxx